(To the tune of "The Ballad of Gilligan's Isle")
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful day
When Xena the Warrior Princess changed her evil ways
The woman was a mighty warlord then
The leader of a large army
When she decided to secure her position by destroying one enemy
Destroying one enemy
She captured the Mighty Hercules
In order to do him in
But he ended up helping her reverse her ways of sin
Reverse her ways of sin
She started down the path of good with help from some new friends
There's Gabrielle
Salmoneus, too
The Mighty Joxer
And her horse
The King of Thieves
The Amazons and
Her Mom
Here to lend Xena aid!
Now this is the tale of our Warrior gal
She's dedicated as can be
To making up for her wicked past
And changing history
The Princess and her Bardic pal
Will do whatever they can
To keep their fans guessing
If they prefer women or men
No rhyme
No reason
No sense at all
Not a smidge of accuracy
Like drunken monkeys typing
There's no continuity
So join her here each week, Xenites
You're sure to get perplexed
From watching Gab and Xena
Play with the subtext!
Autolycus