DISCLAIMER: The usual that Xena/Gabrielle/Argo are copyright of MCA etc.

No infringement intended. WARNING This story contains explicit sex. If you are too young or think you will be offended, please do not read on. It contains a LOT of sex.

Talking about sex and descriptions of (improbable, possibly impossible) sexual acts, between consenting adult women. It really is not my intention to offend, IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BIT OF FUN.

If you still choose to read on, and wish to make a comment (nice or nasty, but don’t burst a blood vessel) try Rab@xgrd.freeserve.co.uk

The Best Laid Plans...

by Rab Donald

Gabrielle had purposely chosen the table in a dimly lit corner of the tavern. Xena seemed happy with the choice too, she snuggled up close to the bard whose right hand was already nestling against the warrior’s inner thighs.

"What about her? Curly blonde hair, red dress. She is clearing the empty beakers from that long table"

Xena followed her lover’s gaze across the room.

"Gabrielle, you are terrible! Why didn’t you just say ‘red dress that can barely contain a pair of tits the size of water melons’"

The blonde bard merely giggled.

"So you like big breasts do you?" asked Xena

"I adore yours" Gabrielle replied, putting down her drink to reach across and make a grab for her friend’s bosom.

The warrior smacked her hand away. "But that girl’s boobs make mine look like goosebumps"

"Hardly" laughed the younger woman "now you choose someone"

The warrior scanned the room, it was a little quiet, but finally she smiled.

"Look towards the bar, on the left there is a doorway that looks like it leads through the back, to the kitchen or something. She is standing pouring wine. Short black hair, white top, short white skirt"

Gabrielle peered across the room.

"A bit young looking isn’t she? Aah! You like them young do you?" she added, pinching Xena’s thigh.

"I adore you" the warrior retorted, before giving her lover a quick kiss.

"Actually, she reminds me very much of a girl I met many years ago" Xena explained.

"A girl you bedded many years ago, I bet!" As she spoke, Gabrielle began to caress the warrior’s thighs.

"Well, I must confess…" the woman with the raven black hair smiled.

Gabrielle gave her a playful thump. "The Gods only know why you kept me waiting so long"

"You sure are making up for lost time! You never leave me alone these days" grinned the warrior.

"Like you are complaining! Besides, what about this morning? I woke up to find you sucking on my boobs" the bard smiled.

"Can I help it if I find you totally desirable?" Xena grinned and allowed herself to kiss her soulmate. Gabrielle responded, opening her mouth and trying to force her tongue past the warrior’s tonsils.

Xena broke free. "This is a public place" she fretted.

"Let’s just fuck here and now" sighed Gabrielle "if anyone complains you have my permission to kill them!"

"Patience, my love. Don’t worry, I have got us a room upstairs. We will have all night for fun and games" said the warrior.

"I do love you Xena. With all my heart and all my soul. I will love you eternally" the bard had suddenly become serious, sincere.

"I know you do. I feel the same way. I could not live without you"

They exchanged a more tender kiss.

They both drained their drinks.

"Oh that is such a pity!" Xena said suddenly.

"What?" the bard sounded concerned.

"Your friend with the big boobs has just gone through the back, we will have to accept refills from that old dear"

"She is not my friend!" Gabrielle complained with a giggle.

With replenished drinks, they both sat smiling.

"You don’t mind me ogling these women, playing these ‘pick a babe’ games?" asked Gabrielle.

"Ha!" laughed Xena "you don’t think I haven’t noticed before? Every where we go you check out barmaids, waitresses, anything with boobs……" the warrior was enjoying herself. "In that tavern last night, I swear you put your hand up that girl’s skirt while you were standing at the bar"

"What girl?!" the blonde protested, then with a coy look she added "that’s right, I remember! What a cute little ass she had too!"

"You are such a horny young minx" said Xena "I have created a monster"

"I’ve seen you looking too. Besides, I’ll bet you have had so many lovers you cannot remember" said Gabrielle

"You cheeky madam! I do have to say, I have had quite a few wild times in the past, though only after I discovered women. I hadn’t bedded as many men as people seem to think, and at that time I thought sex was just something you did to relieve tension"

The warrior was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Gabrielle about this.

"Then the fateful night occurred when I was seduced by a woman, and I discovered what real pleasure was. But that story can wait for another time. Let’s just say that afterwards, I went on quite a spree. I was amazed at how many women suddenly became willing and available"

"Why amazed?" asked Gabrielle, who was listening intently.

"I guess that I just didn’t realise how many women enjoyed doing it with other women. I think my reputation helped too. I’m pretty sure that some women who came to my bed were not necessarily ‘inclined to the ways of Sappho’, as you put it. I think maybe the idea of being tied up and spanked by the Warrior Princess just excited them"

"Zeus! It’s exciting me!" groaned Gabrielle and she squirmed in her seat.

"If you don’t finger-fuck me now, I’ll do it myself! And I wont hold back"

"I’m getting pretty wet myself, my breeches are beginning to stick… but if we wait it will be all the lovelier"

"Maybe just one more drink?" suggested Gabrielle.

They looked at each other and again drained their ale-mugs.

"You are wrong, by the way" said Gabrielle as she held her empty mug aloft, indicating to the old woman that they needed refills.

"About what" Xena was confused.

"I don’t think women went willingly to your bed because of your reputation as a dangerous warrior"

"Why then?" Xena asked.

"Because you are simply the most gorgeous creature in the known world.

You could have any woman you wanted, I’m sure of it" there was love in Gabrielle’s eyes as she spoke.

"My beautiful bard. My eternal soul." Said Xena softly, then she added in sarcastic tones "you are just trying to sweet-talk your way into my breeches!"

"Been there, done that!" laughed Gabrielle who slid her hand right up the warrior’s thighs, under her breeches and she eased two fingers into Xena’s wetness.

The warrior jumped slightly. "Gabrielle, not here!" she hissed "take your hand away and I will offer you a proposition"

Reluctantly Gabrielle removed her hand completely from the warrior’s skirt. Almost unconsciously, she brought it up to her own bosom, and she began to idly tweak one of her nipples that was clearly defined beneath her green top.

Xena had to slap the bard’s hand away. "Will you stop that and listen!"

The bard seemed surprised and distant "Stop what?"

Xena sighed. "You think I have great ‘pulling power’ How about I seduce that girl? As a gift for you"

"What girl? What do you mean?" the bard was genuinely confused.

"I’ll try to seduce that girl, get her up to our room so you can have some fun with her. You know, blonde hair, red dress. Remember?"

Gabrielle let the words sink in and smiled.

"Oh! You mean the one with the delicious big titties!"

"I knew it was those boobs!" laughed the warrior.

The bard shifted in her seat and took a long swallow of ale.

"But what about you? Wouldn’t you be jealous?" she asked.

"I love you Gabrielle. I would do anything to make you happy. Actually I would like to watch. You know when I’m down between your legs, making you sing the song of love, I can never see your face. I would love to see the look of ecstasy on your face when you reach climax"

The bard gave her friend a strange look. Then her face lit up.

"I know what this is about! You want me out of the way so you can play ‘mums and dads’ with that young girl. The one that reminds you of an old friend"

"Gabrielle! She was not an old friend. She was simply one of the first women I had ever fucked, though I do have fond memories of that night"

The warrior looked earnestly at the bard. Perhaps she had misjudged things, she would NEVER forgive herself if this stupid suggestion ended up turning their relationship sour.

"I’m sorry Gabrielle. I am feeling frisky as a bunny, I thought you were too. I really thought you were lusting after that waitress. I only wanted to make you happy"

"And you thought the idea of fucking that waitress would make me happy?" there was a sadness in the blonde woman’s voice.

"Damned right it would!!" Gabrielle suddenly burst into laughter.

Relief spread across Xena’s face.

"Look, maybe I am a bit tipsy or something. I would never force you into anything"

"Xena, relax" said the bard. "I know you are not tipsy, we have only had a couple of ales. I also know that you would never force me to do anything, or try to hurt me in any way. I think what you just said was just so sweet.

It was also incredibly sexy."

"Let us order one more drink Gabrielle, and if the moment isn’t lost, you can think about my little scheme" said the warrior.

"This is the last thing I am going to say that is truly serious. You would never leave me would you?" asked Gabrielle.

"You already know the answer to that" said Xena

"I know" the bard said softly. "In that case I want you to go into that kitchen and fuck the sweet little arse of white skirt, your fond memory girl. Do everything disgusting thing to her that you have not yet done to me and then come back and tell me every delicious detail"

"You are the storyteller, my little bard. And I don’t know what you think I haven’t yet done to you. With you." Xena queried.

"Yes, I am a bard. I have also read many scrolls. You know the ones. They put them on the top shelf of the market stalls. Are you really telling me that you haven’t done every kinky thing under the sun?"

Xena’s eyes widened and a flush came to her cheeks. "I know this discreet little place in Corinth. Remind me to take you there"

"Corinth here we come!" laughed Gabrielle, "but for the moment you still have to get red dress into my bed"

"Aah, luscious boobs! I had nearly forgotten about her" smiled Xena

Gabrielle made a show of putting a hand up her own skirt. "I hadn’t!"

"I think the best plan now, would be to wait for closing time, it isn’t long to go anyway. She will probably pour herself a drink after clearing the tables. I will engage her in conversation then. It shouldn’t take me long to find out if she will be willing"

"But what about you and white skirt? Or should I say jailbait" laughed Gabrielle "I want you to have fun too"

"It is hard to say, I’ve only seen her from a distance, but she does look a bit young. Besides, I really am not that bothered about her. This is about you. Of course, after watching you and red dress for a while, I was hoping to join in you know" Xena gave her friend a wink.

"Gods Xena! I am wet. I wish you had your whip with you" sighed the bard.

"My whip? They don’t use whips like that one Gabrielle. It would take your skin clean off. The whips they talk about in your ‘top shelf scrolls’ are much smaller and made of much softer leather" said the warrior.

"No! The other end silly. The handle, the grip, whatever you call it. It is lovely and hard and thick and a decent length. It would slip in and out so easily right now" the bard shivered at the thought.

Xena looked shocked. "Are you telling me that you fuck yourself with my whip?"

"Yes, of course. Don’t you? It’s like what they call a dildo isn’t it?"

Xena grinned and shook her head. "You are nowhere near as innocent as you make out Gabrielle. You will be telling me you’ve been to an orgy next!"

"Only a couple of times" Gabrielle said. Innocently.

"OK they are closed. You go up to the room, I must make one last check on Argo in the stable, then I will get to work on red dress"

"You mean big boobs" Gabrielle grinned "I will go upstairs, but don’t take too long because I will just start without you. Or her. Or whoever"

"I don’t doubt it for a moment" Xena said sincerely.

The warrior had just gone out the front door when the well-endowed waitress with the red dress approached Gabrielle’s table.

"Excuse me" she said hesitantly, "but is that Xena, the famous Warrior Princess you were talking to?"

"Aphrodite be praised" Gabrielle said under her breath, she knew this girl would be a fan of Xena’s. ‘This is going to be a piece of nutbread, Xena my love’ she thought before answering.

"Yes, the one and only"

Red dress sat down very close to Gabrielle.

"Fantastic! Then you must be Gabrielle, the famous bard!"

Gabrielle was taken aback. As if the sight of those heaving breasts so close at hand was not enough, this woman knew her name. ‘Famous bard’?

"Yes I am Gabrielle. I’m not sure about being famous" she said.

"Gabrielle of Potidaea. I am a huge fan of yours! I try to read as many of your scrolls as I can. I’m a bard too, amateur of course. Megan, by the way" the woman held out her hand, her voice was gushing with excitement.

"Pleased to meet you" Gabrielle shook hands and felt a definite caress.

She also became all too aware that Megan was leaning over, to somewhat unnecessarily expose even more cleavage.

"I have some of my own work upstairs, in my bedroom. I would love for you to read some" the waitress was positively purring. "Of course I’m not even close to your league, but us bards should stick together. Don’t you agree?"

Even a village idiot could tell that Megan was giving Gabrielle a huge come on. Gabrielle was no idiot.

Her hands immediately went down the front of the red dress. As each cupped and caressed an over-sized breast, Gabrielle’s mouth fell on the waitresses and they were instantly locked in a tongue-wrestling embrace.

The kissing continued for a few breathless minutes while Gabrielle tweaked and toyed Megan’s nipples into rock hard erectness.

"Yes baby, suck them" gasped Megan when the kissing finally stopped. Gabrielle needed no second invitation. Biting and teasing the nipples, Gabrielle briefly then raised her head to say "I’ve been waiting all night to do this"

Megan had succeeded in unfastening the front of Gabrielle’s top and she was roughly fondling and kneading the bard’s bosom while Gabrielle continued to lick and suck. She seemed to be trying to force as much of each breast into her mouth as she could.

After a few moments Megan gasped. "Let’s get upstairs. Fuck my scrolls I have a double-pronged dildo that needs breaking in"

"I’ve read about those" said a breathless Gabrielle.

Megan seemed to be a woman in a hurry. No sooner than she had got Gabrielle into her room, then she threw the smaller woman on the bed.

"That’s it babe, just hitch up your skirt. You should be plenty wet enough already"

Gabrielle was. Megan climbed on to the bed and easily slid one part of the tool into Gabrielle’s juicy cunt.

"You see?" she said as if she were a sales demonstrator "this bit stands up so when I ease myself up and down it’s hard length, the motion I create thrusts your end in and out"

"I see, I see" gasped the bard.

Megan was joyously sliding herself up and down, playing with her boobs as she did so. Her movements began to gather pace.

"It’s like we are both getting fucked at the same time, without the need for a man!" yelped Megan as her rhythm quickened.

"Gods Yes!" was all Gabrielle could muster.

"It’s even better than that!" gasped the waitress who was still wearing the dress, albeit unlaced down to her navel. "The little connector thing is flexible, so I can lean down and suck on your titties and the tool part doesn’t slip out". Megan happily demonstrated.

"Amazing!" whimpered Gabrielle, though she was not referring to the design or engineering skills of the dildo manufacturer.

At this point Megan abandoned herself to the inevitable and her hips began thrusting and gyrating at a furious pace. Her mouth was clamped firmly on one of the bard’s breasts, while a hand was quite savagely ministering to the other.

Gabrielle lay with her head back and eyes closed, lost in pleasure.

"Fuck me! Yes! Fuck me Xena!" she chanted before the delicious sensation of climax washed over her body, causing it to judder and writhe.

Megan had reached her conclusion a few second earlier and she flopped her body down on top of Gabrielle’s. After catching her breathe, she eased herself off, removing the instrument of pleasure from each of their pussies. "You were gone there babe" smiled Megan "at one point you called me Xena"

Gabrielle suffered a momentary pang of pure guilt, before realising that her being with Megan had been the basic idea.

Suddenly the waitress turned a deathly white. "Zeus preserve me! Xena!"

Gabrielle looked puzzled. "What is it?"

"Will she be OK with this? Ares and Hermes! She’ll murder me!! No she won’t. She’ll keep me alive and torture me every day until eternity!"

Megan was clearly a worried woman.

"Relax! Megan, relax!" Gabrielle soothed. "You do not have to worry about Xena"

Down in the stables, the warrior was talking to her horse.

"It is just as well I did check in. These hooves should have been cleaned yesterday. Can’t have you standing all night with this wet mud on your hooves, right girl?" Argo snorted her agreement.

The warrior smiled, she knew this would take longer than they had expected, poor Gabrielle would be waiting, very impatiently.

Xena noticed her whip. "Better take this upstairs with me. Auntie Gabrielle is not nearly as innocent as she looks, you know. Did you know she fucks herself with my whip?" Argo kept her counsel.

Megan was showing Gabrielle her collection. "This is one of my favourites, it is a bit more pointed, slips up the arse a bit easier. By the way, I have some nice oils if you want me to bum-fuck you later"

Gabrielle smiled sweetly. ‘They do do that! I knew those scrolls were educational!’ she thought.

"Listen, babe. I am itching to join you on the bed again. Do you swear that Xena is not going to do great harm to me?" Megan asked.

"Honestly, I promise. In fact I am pretty sure where Xena is right now, and I know pretty much what she will be doing. Believe me, she is blissfully occupied"

The bard lay back and smiled. A delightful mental image formed in her head.

‘There is a girl with short black hair wearing a very short white skirt. She is in the kitchen downstairs. When Xena walks in, the girl bends over a table. She pulls her skirt up and provocatively wiggles her cute little ass in the air. Xena walks over and gives the girl’s buttocks a couple of sharp spanks. Xena orders the girl to turn around. Xena then falls to her knees and pushes her head up the white skirt. She grabs the cute buttocks that are still red and tingling. Then her tongue snakes out and begins to lap at the freely flowing love-juices……’

"Ooh yes!" Gabrielle didn’t mean to speak aloud, but her own thoughts about what her warrior was doing was getting her so horny.

"Give her a damned good tonguing for me, my love" she sighed.

"What?" asked Megan

"Sorry, miles away" smiled the bard. "Now for the last time, Xena knows that I am with you, she will not harm you, unless I tell her to. And I will only tell her to if you don’t get your butt over hear and give me a damned good seeing to!"

"Yes ma’am" Megan smiled.

"Arse-fucking remains an option" Gabrielle grinned.

Xena was right, she was a horny little minx.

In the stable, the warrior sighed.

"Alright, I may as well brush you down while I’m here. But Auntie Gabrielle won’t thank you. Poor girl will be very frustrated by now"

Megan lay sprawled across the bed, her thighs clamped firmly around Gabrielle’s head. "Babe you are gooooood!" she moaned.

The bard was so occupied, not to mention the fact that her ears were wearing Megan’s thighs, she was unaware of the knock at the door.

"Come in!" gasped the frantic waitress.

A young looking girl with short black hair, wearing a white top and matching short skirt entered.

"Jenna! Babe!" moaned the delirious waitress as she forced Gabrielle’s head more firmly against her pussy.

"Lock the door, baby. You don’t mind if we have company?"

Jenna grinned broadly.

"You know me, Megan my darling" and she pulled her top off instantly.

Gabrielle felt she was drowning in the flood of delicious wetness that she was lapping at with relish.

‘The Gods! Megan was good. How could she finger fuck me from there?

And what was that delightful cold oil that was being rubbed into her bum-hole?’

As the finger probed her arse, the mixture of pain followed by a jolt of pleasure was a glorious new sensation.

"Oh! Stop! Don’t!" she gasped as Jenna jabbed the dildo in.

"Oh! Don’t Stop!" she mumbled as the young girl eased the tool deeper and harder up her arse.

Megan had managed to manoeuvre herself around so that she could now tongue Gabrielle’s pussy.

The twin assault on her arse and cunt had left the bard totally reeling.

She only knew that she wanted to be fucking and being fucked for the rest of the night. At least.

Xena had found the tavern locked by the time she had finished with Argo.

She walked around to where she knew their room was. There was no candlelight coming through the window.

"Gabrielle!" she called in a loud whisper.

She went back to the stable. "The tavern is locked up, old girl" she told Argo, "and Gabrielle has obviously just gone to sleep. Poor love, I think she was looking forward to a bit of kinky sex. She will be so disappointed. Boy is she be going to be sore at us in the morning!"

Gabrielle felt her legs being forced apart, again. Megan had kissed her way up her thighs and was now licking at her pussy, probing her tongue deep inside.

Her mind was a delicious fog of bliss. She felt another tongue darting back and forth, teasing her swollen clitty. It was some girl called Jenna, Gabrielle could remember them saying that much. She was seventeen, and she worked…. Where? In the kitchen? But the waves of pleasure that had been flowing threw her body had all but befuddled her mind.

‘I hope Xena is having half as good fun as I am’ she managed to register a lucid thought, before more thrills coursed through her veins.

"Girls, this is unbelievable!" she gasped "but I’m not sure I can take much more. You are fucking me senseless!"

Megan raised her head, her lips were glistening from Gabrielle’s love-juices. "Plenty more to come babe. Though you may feel a bit sore in the morning!"