=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
DISCLAIMER: This fan fic uses characters from X:WP and H:TLJ, which
are, of course, the sole property of MCA Universal and Renaissance Pictures.
But the story, such as it is, is all mine.
Yes, this is a sequel to "Love is a Many Splintered
Thing."
Yes, there is some Joxer/Gabrielle romance (sort of).
Even so, I think you all will like the story anyway.
Oh, and it's rated the same as the television show: PG14 for
suggestive language and adult situations.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Aphrodite was beyond
pleased with herself. Her plan had worked to perfection. And, even better, Xena
had no idea her friend was still under the Goddess of Love's spell. Making love
to that moron had only stripped away the first layer, causing Xena, and the
blonde brat herself, to think the spell was broken. But, it wasn't. Not by a
long shot.
And, if Aphrodite had
her way, it never would be.
*****
Xena slowly
dismounted from Argo. She was weary from not only having traveled all day, but
from having to listen to hour after hour of Gabrielle and Joxer sing multiple
versions of his accursed song. She had hoped that once the spell was broken,
the Bard would return to her normal self, to the woman Xena loved. But, she
hadn't. Not really.
But, Xena had to
admit, she also seemed very happy. And, that was what counted, wasn't it? Did
she have any right to jeopardize Gabrielle's happiness simply because she
didn't agree with the choice the Bard had made? She'd already caused Gabrielle
enough pain by being unable to prevent the death of her husband, Perdicus. How
could she deny her a second chance? Even if it was with Joxer of all people.
She glanced back and
watched as her two friends prepared the campsite for the evening, laughing and
talking, sharing loving glances and casual touches. Just the way she and I did,
Xena thought sadly. But, she had to admit that they made a good couple. She'd
never seen Joxer acting so un-Joxer-like. He hadn't stumbled once. He hadn't
banged his head or fallen down or walked into a tree or fell off a cliff or
anything all day. Amazing. Gabrielle's love seemed to have given him a sense of
self-confidence, of self-worth, even, that he'd never had before. In the space
of a single day, he'd gone from being a clownish boy to a mature man. Almost
like magic...
Xena suddenly froze
as her heart leaped up into her throat. Magic. That had to be the answer. Both Gabrielle and Joxer were now under
a spell by the Goddess of Love. She should have realized it earlier and known
that Aphrodite had been lying about the way to break the curse from Gabrielle's
behavior once she thought the spell had been broken. But, she'd been too
distraught, and physically sickened, by it that she hadn't paused to consider
the possibility that Aphrodite had lied. As comforting as this heartfelt
knowledge was, it didn't help her in regards to breaking the curse. And, since Aphrodite
wasn't about to help her, she would have to figure out how to break the spell
on her own.
She looked over at
Joxer and Gabrielle, sitting by the fire, holding hands and gazing into each
other's eyes, and shook her head in disgust. And I'd better do it soon, she
said to herself.
*****
After an
uncomfortable night, made even worse by the sounds coming from the bedroll
shared by the cursed couple--She could have sworn she heard animal noises--Xena
decided that the only way to find out what the secret to breaking the spell was
to ask another God. Cupid owed her a favor for finding his and Psyche's son,
Bliss, and the Warrior Princess decided it was time to call in that marker.
After they'd had
breakfast and packed up, Xena announced, "I thought we'd head toward
Larisa, I've heard that the villagers there are having trouble with a Cyclops
who's been raiding their herds."
"Great!"
smiled Gabrielle, glancing up at Joxer. "We'll stop and help them on our
way to Poteidaea."
"Poteidaea?"
Xena questioned, fearing she knew the answer.
"Joxer and I are
getting married," Gabrielle beamed.
Xena's stomach
started doing violent flip-flops as it struggled to forcefully expel the meager
breakfast she'd had, but she managed to control it and smile. "Oh? Well,
congratulations," she said through tightly gritted teeth.
"Thanks. You'll
be my Maid of Honor, naturally," the Bard added.
Xena nodded. "Of
course. We'd better get going; it'll take us two days to reach Larisa. And then
Poteidaea's another two weeks, at least," the ex-warlord stated. She
climbed up on Argo and was about to urge the mare forward when she suddenly
turned around and said, with as pleasant a smile as she could muster, "Oh,
and no singing today. There are bandits in this area and we don't want to
attract any unwanted attention. I mean, every delay just means your wedding
will have to wait that much longer, right?"
"Right. No
singing," Gabrielle nodded. "Besides, I'm sure Joxer and I can find
other ways to keep our mouths busy."
"I'm sure you
can," Xena replied, her mouth twitching a bit and her shoulder slightly
jerking.
"How long has
Xena had that nervous tick?" Joxer whispered to Gabrielle as soon as Xena
put her heels to Argo.
"I'm not
sure," Gabrielle replied thoughtfully. "It must be fairly recent, but
I can't seem to remember much before yesterday."
"You know, it's
the strangest thing, but I can't, either," Joxer said.
"I guess the
realization that we love each other has made the past inconsequential,"
Gabrielle said, lovingly gazing into Joxer's face.
Up ahead, Xena
discreetly leaned over and threw up.
*****
Two days later--Two
days the likes of which Xena hoped to never experience again as long as she
lived!--the trio arrived in the village of Larisa, a sleepy community situated
on the banks of the Peneus River and home to one of the main temples of Cupid.
As they had arrived fairly late in the afternoon, Xena suggested to Gabrielle
and Joxer that they secure them a couple of rooms in the inn while she ask
around to see what she could learn about the Cyclops. Gabrielle had
enthusiastically agreed and Xena had set off for Cupid's temple, a large stone
structure on the outskirts of town.
"Cupid,"
Xena called, entering the building. She noted that, like his mother's temple,
it was decorated with statues and friezes depicting love in all its various
forms. But, whereas Aphrodite's temples, like the Goddess herself, tended to be
rather crude and gaudy, Cupid's was beautiful. The scenes and the statuary were
erotic, but not salacious, showcasing the tenderness and the playful nature of
love, instead of its pornographic, sweaty side. "I need your help."
"Anything for
you, my most favorite warrior doll," the God grinned, flashing into
existence in front of her. "What's the prob, Xena?"
"Your mother has
put a curse on Gabrielle to make her think she's in love with Joxer," the
Warrior princess explained.
"Joxer? Isn't he
the one who's really in love with Gabrielle? The one I couldn't snap out of
Bliss' spell?" Cupid asked.
Xena nodded.
"But, Gabrielle's love for him, naturally, is just the love of a friend.
Your mother's spell has perverted that love, making it something unnatural and
ugly," Xena continued.
"I can't break
Mom's spell, Xena. She's too powerful for me," he replied.
"I was afraid of
that. But, I was hoping you'd have some idea what I could do to break the
spell," Xena said anxiously.
"Well, with most
love-related curses, the way to break them is with a kiss from the accursed's
true love," Cupid grinned. "You might try that."
Xena smiled.
"Thanks, Cupid."
"Any time. Mom
should know better than to mess with you," he added, flashing out of
existence.
Xena nodded and then
made her way to the inn. She learned from the innkeeper that Gabrielle had
reserved a room for her and a room for herself and Joxer. Xena sighed deeply
and went to their room and knocked on the door.
After several minutes
and a shouted "Hold on," the door opened and Gabrielle and Joxer,
both looking rather disheveled, stood there, smiling.
"Xena, what did
you find out about the Cyclops?" Gabrielle asked, motioning the ex-warlord
inside.
"He's gone.
Apparently he moved on up river after the livestock here got scarce," she
lied. She couldn't help but notice that the large bed showed signs of having
been recently, and vigorously, used and her stomach resumed its gymnastics.
"But, I had this great idea. There's a temple to Aphrodite in town. Why
not have your wedding there?"
"Well, she was
responsible for bringing us together..." Gabrielle said thoughtfully.
"But, I really wanted to get married in my hometown, with my parents and
my sister there."
"You can always
have another ceremony when we reach Poteidaea," Xena reminded her. "I
just thought this would be a good way to honor the Goddess for what she did to,
er, for you."
"What do you
think, Joxer?" Gabrielle asked, turning to her fiancé.
"I think Xena's
right. If it weren't for Aphrodite, we might never have realized how much we
loved each other," he said. "We'll have a big wedding in Poteidaea,
but I think a ceremony here would be a nice way to thank the Goddess for what
she's done. Don't you?"
The Bard nodded.
"You're right. Both of you. Besides, I can't wait to be your official
wife!" she smiled, leaning into him and affectionately stroking his arm.
"Great,"
said Xena, her mouth and shoulder twitching violently. "I'll set
everything up. See you two in the morning."
"Sleep tight,
Xena," Gabrielle called as the Warrior Princess shut the door behind her.
"Yeah,
right!" Xena hissed, making her way to her room.
*****
The next day dawned
bright and clear. The sun was shining and there were only a few fluffy white
clouds in the sky, which only served to add to the beauty of the morning. A
perfect day for a wedding.
When Gabrielle and
Joxer finally made their way to the dining hall, Xena was already there,
looking impatient.
"Good morning,
Xena," the Bard said, sitting next to her.
"Morning?! It's
practically afternoon," Xena pointed out.
"We lost track
of time," Joxer said simply, but he glanced over at Gabrielle and smiled
knowingly.
"I'll bet you
did," Xena mumbled, her mouth and shoulder jerking spasmodically.
"All ready for the big day?" she asked.
"I need to get a
dress. Do they have a dressmaker in town?" the Bard inquired. "You'll
need one, too. Can't have my Maid of Honor looking like a warlord, can I?"
Xena nodded. "I
think I saw a dressmaker's shop last night, but, Gabrielle, this will just be
small ceremony, in front of strangers. Why not wait until you reach Poteidaea
to get a dress?" she suggested.
"Because this is
the one that counts, Xena," Gabrielle replied, smiling but determined.
"And I want it to be as special as I can make it."
"Oh, it'll be
special, all right," Xena said to herself.
"What was
that?" the Bard questioned.
"I just said
that it will be special, regardless of how you're dressed," Xena replied
quickly. But, noting the look in her beloved Bard's eyes, she added, "But,
if you want us to have dresses, then, by the Gods, we'll have the most
beautiful dresses this town has to offer!"
Gabrielle threw her
arms around Xena's neck and hugged her tightly. "Thank you, Xena. For
everything," she added, pulling away before the startled ex-warlord could
do more than quickly embrace her in return.
"Anything for
you, Gabrielle. Anything," Xena said softly, her blue eyes growing soft as
she gazed into Gabrielle's face.
"And you'd
better get some decent clothes, too," Gabrielle said, turning to face
Joxer. "I think the patchwork warrior look needs to be retired,
permanently."
The would-be warrior
looked down at his jumbled armor and nodded. "Time to dress like a man and
put this childish suit aside," he agreed. He bent over and kissed
Gabrielle sweetly. "I'll see you at the temple."
"I've arranged
with the Priest to have the ceremony at sunset," Xena said. "Don't be
late."
Joxer laughed and
walked off.
"Shall we
go?" Gabrielle asked after he had disappeared out the door.
"You haven't
eaten yet," Xena pointed out.
"I'm not really
hungry. Too excited, I guess," the Bard smiled.
Xena nodded.
"Sure, let's go see if we can't find you a decent dress. Not that you
wouldn't look great in anything, Gabrielle," she added softly.
*****
Sundown. All of the
temple's priests had gathered for the ceremony, as per Xena's request, as had
some of the curious townsfolk. The head priest, an older man named Diomecles,
was standing at the altar, waiting to perform the ceremony. And, next to him
was a man barely recognizable as Joxer. The would-be warrior's ragtag
collection of armor had been replaced with a white silk shirt, dark vest and
pants, and a golden belt. His hair, which normally looked like a greasy
hedgehog had been glued to his skull, was clean and neatly combed.
He was talking
pleasantly with Diomecles when his breath suddenly caught in his throat upon
seeing Gabrielle and Xena enter the room.
The ex-warlord was
wearing a low-cut dress of blue that almost matched her eyes and Gabrielle was
clothed in an elegant white gown that trailed behind her. It was all lace on
top and festooned with buttons and sequins that suggested a pattern of flowers,
without blatantly depicting any actual flora. She was smiling and her face
looked more radiant than he'd ever seen.
Behind Diomecles,
Aphrodite herself suddenly flashed into existence in a shower of multi-colored
flowers. "Whoa. I never thought old blood and guts would let this
happen," she said with a grin, looking at Xena. "Cool. This is even
better than I'd hoped for." She made herself comfortable on the velvet
couch that dominated the altar and prepared to enjoy the ceremony.
Gabrielle, with Xena
standing right next to her, took Joxer's hand in hers and then all three looked
up at Diomecles.
"Love,"
began the priest, looking down fondly at the pair before him, "is the most
sacred of all emotions. It is the purest and most basic of all human desires.
The need for love outweighs the needs for food, shelter, and even water. For,
without love the human soul itself is doomed. Love is not petty. It does not
seek to control or manipulate. Love is enduring and forgiving. It does not bear
grudges and is incapable of ill will. Joy is the only thing love, true love,
can engender."
Behind, him,
Aphrodite began to squirm uncomfortably.
"Do you two love
each other like that? With no qualms, no regrets, no hidden motives or unspoken
longings? If you do, then repeat the following pledge with me. But, if you
don't, if something other than the purest of intentions is compelling you to go
through with this, then stop now, or risk the possibility of a life devoid of
the joys which only true love can bring. Are you ready to continue?" They
nodded. "Good. I swear by the most holy and sacred vow that I do love thee
with all my heart and soul and will never forsake thee and will never curse or
spite thee or cause thee harm, lest I do those very things to myself, for thou
art my blood and my life and to harm thee would be the same as piercing my own
heart with a poisoned dagger."
Gabrielle and Joxer
repeated the words aloud, but no one noticed that Xena also mouthed them.
"And now, I do
seal this bond with a kiss, and with this kiss let our hearts and souls be
forever joined," Diomecles finished. He smiled and gestured to the anxious
couple and, behind him, Aphrodite, while still feeling a bit guilty in light of
the ceremony and the way it reminded her what love should be, eagerly sat forward and waited for this final dagger to
be thrust into the body of her rival.
Suddenly, Xena
grabbed Gabrielle and, spinning her around, kissed her hard on the mouth.
"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"
screamed Aphrodite, bursting into view and startling the crowd. "No. No.
No. It's not supposed to end like this!" She stomped her foot and glared
at the kissing couple.
Xena reluctantly
pulled back and looked Gabrielle in the eyes. "Is it you? I mean really
you, Gabrielle?" she asked.
"It's me, Xena.
By the Gods! I can't believe what almost happened!" she exclaimed, looking
down at her dress.
"What's going
on?" Joxer asked. "What happened to my clothes?"
All three looked up
to where Aphrodite was still fuming with rage. "He'll remember, in
time," she promised. "None of you will ever forget."
"Neither will
you, Aphrodite," Xena grinned wolfishly.
The Goddess of Love
clenched her fists and then disappeared in a flash of light and a shower of
flowers.
"How did I
do?" Diomecles asked, a twinkle in his eyes.
"Great. I just
hope Aphrodite doesn't take her anger out on you," Xena replied. "You
laid it on even thicker than I asked."
"I may have
embellished the ceremony a bit," he conceded. "But, it was about time
someone reminded the Goddess what ideal love is all about. Be happy, my
friends."
"We will,"
Xena nodded. "Come on, you two, let's get out of here."
*****
"I'll never be
able to look Gabby in the face again!" Joxer said miserably. He was once
more clad in his usual armor, although he did carry the clothes he had bought
in a pack on his back. "She must hate me. You must hate me! Gods! How can
I even look you in the face?" He promptly buried his face in his hands.
"She doesn't
hate you, Joxer, and neither do I," Xena assured him as they sat on a
bench outside of the inn. She was also wearing her usual attire, but her dress
was back in the store. "It wasn't your fault. Aphrodite used you both to
get at me. If anyone's to blame, it's her, not you. You'll always be our
friend, but that's all, Joxer. And it's time you realized that and found
someone of your own, instead of vainly waiting for Gabrielle to fall in love
with you. It's never gonna happen, my friend."
"I know, Xena. I
guess I've always known, but, just like the fact I'll never be a great warrior,
I couldn't admit it to myself. Until now," he added, looking up and
smiling. "Thanks."
"You're welcome.
Now, come inside and let's have dinner," she said, getting up.
"I think I'll
hit the road. Tell Gabrielle goodbye for me, will ya?" he asked, rising to
his feet and clasping her arm in a warrior's handshake.
"Sure, Joxer.
Don't be a stranger, though," she smiled.
He looked over his
shoulder as he walked away and waved back, stumbling over a large rock in the
road, but quickly regaining his balance before actually falling to the ground.
Xena nodded and went
inside to where Gabrielle, back in her regular clothes, too, sat waiting.
"Where's
Joxer?" she asked.
"He decided to
go on without us," Xena answered, sitting next to her.
"You didn't kill
him, did you?" Gabrielle asked urgently.
"Of course
not!" she shot back. "He just wanted some time alone. Aphrodite hurt him,
too. A lot."
"I know,"
the Bard replied thoughtfully. "I hope she's learned her lesson."
"For a while,
maybe, but she'll recover and try again," Xena frowned.
"Well, then,
we'd better make the most of the time between now and then, hadn't we?" Gabrielle
said suggestively.
"And just what
did you have in mind?" Xena asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well,
technically, this is our wedding night, and we've got a room already. I say we
use it!" the Bard grinned.
"Do you really
mean it, Gabrielle?" Xena asked, afraid she'd misheard.
"Absolutely. I
wonder if they have room service?" she asked coyly.
"They do
now!" Xena promised her. "Let's go!"
The pair of women got
up from their seats and made their way to the room the Warrior Princess had
occupied the night before. Xena opened the door and walked in, but Gabrielle
stood, tapping her foot impatiently, just outside the room.
"What?"
Xena questioned.
"Aren't you
going to carry me across the threshold?" she demanded.
Xena grinned and
scooped Gabrielle into her arms and carried her into the room and tossed her
onto the bed, closing the door with her foot as she did so.
A moment later, Xena
opened the door, stuck a "Do Not Disturb" sign to it with her breast
dagger, and then closed it again.